yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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