need another drink. this is the easiest way
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
