That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
