i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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