In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I need a burrito and a hug.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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