I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize