What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize