what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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