I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
