Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
