What a fucking waste of an outfit
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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