she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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