you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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