Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
birth control should be required to get into college
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
