Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
