I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
