I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
