you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
