I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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