Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
