Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
