You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
