Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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