Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
