Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize