i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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