is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
