everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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