STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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