haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
