and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Alive.
So much puke
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
