Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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