So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
