Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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