Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
