Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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