More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
