Sorry, I don't speak sober.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
