I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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