it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
