i already hear my dad disowning me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
