I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
