I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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