grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
