it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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