READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Enjoy the penises
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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