'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
