Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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