Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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