smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
