There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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