My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
