Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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