Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
