we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
