Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
