Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
