quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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