wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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