Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
