I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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