Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
