Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
