Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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