the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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