he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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